Armageddon; Zombies or Computers?

Although many of you are probably hoping that it is zombies that cause the end of civilisation, I personally believe that hordes of walking corpses with gnashing teeth and flesh sliding from their bones, searching for and tearing the living apart… will not be the case. That may sound a little surprising and disappointing coming from an author who writes about the living dead.

However, I suspect that it will be those infernal machines that we have become so reliant upon and call computers that will be the downfall of the human race. They are here only to make our lives more hectic, confusing, complicated, and stressful with our blood pressure levels rocketing high into the atmosphere. What happened to the days of writing a letter, or making a phone call?

Yes, I know, we must all evolve but we are now racing to keep up with technology, rather than technology advancing in order to keep up with us. So who are the fools and who is controlling who?

The reason for this rant is that a few weeks ago, this monster that I call a laptop (the same, seemingly benign and inanimate object that sits on my desk and plots against me) decided to piss down my bag and have the cheek to tell me that it’s actually raining. For some unknown reason, emails and messages coming through this website were blocked. Again, this was not me but the evil demon that resides in all computers, phones, iPads, MP3 players and those super fucking confusing microwaves with more electronic displays than Times Square.

Anyway, I managed to outsmart the fledgling Terminator and now I am able to receive your messages again.

Apologies for any inconvenience that this has caused you and rest assured, when the time comes that I need to purchase a new (and more complicated) ‘demon housing’, this laptop will die a slow and horrible death and left on display as a warning to all future computers. So, please feel free to send your emails through the site again.

I look forward to hearing from each and every one of you.

‘Laptops, Yee Beware…’

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3 Comments to “Armageddon; Zombies or Computers?”

  1. Rachel says:

    I, for one, welcome our robot overlords. Then again, this is coming from someone who accidentally mailed all her Christmas cards to herself this year since it is the only time I use real mail and I sorta forgot how. It’s the thought that counts, right? Personally, my Armageddon dollars are on super monkey flu.

    • Luke Duffy says:

      I suppose it depends how you look at it, Rachel. Some people may agree that it was all about the thought. While others, would just label you as a dumbass! 🙂 However, we’re all only human.

      Super monkey flu sounds interesting. Do they fly?

      • Rachel says:

        Hey, I’ll fly my dumbass flag high and proud when earned, no problem. Best part was getting the mail and for one brief, shining moment thinking all my loved ones had coincidentally also gotten me Godzilla and/or Dagon themed greetings. Sigh. I would think that some super monkeys fly, but I’m not sure if the flu in question is itself super or only infects super monkeys. For end of the world type purposes, let’s assume the flu itself is super for lethality. Otherwise, we’re probably only putting Grape Ape, Gleek and Mojo the helper monkey on notice.

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