As you all know, my books tend to receive the odd review now and then. Most reviews are really good, with some outstanding write-ups and flattering comments and comparisons. Other reviews are rubbish, or deliberately geared to prevent people from reading the books and an attempt to affect sales. Actually, there have been a few that were clearly rival writers, attempting to smear my work.
Anyway, as the author, I am able to see who writes these reviews and even other reviews that they have left for other books or products bought on the internet. Recently, I caught sight of a review and normally, I would think nothing of it and delve no deeper after reading the comments (many authors will tell you that they pay no attention to their reviews, or even bother to read them, but we really do). So, something about this particular reviewer made me want to dig a little deeper. I cannot tell you what that ‘something’ was, because I have no idea. Let’s just say that it was an instinct, a voice in my head, or a feeling in my guts.
I decided to check out what other reviews they had left for other authors. Then, right there, bold as fucking brass, was a review that they had left for a butt-plug that they had bought online. I broke my arse laughing (excuse the pun). It was utterly brilliant. Who in the name of John Wayne’s arse leaves a review, for the entire world to see, for a butt-plug that they bought on the internet?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging. By all means, enjoy what you enjoy. I’m a peanut butter and rubber chicken kind of guy, to be honest, so we all have our kinks. I just found it great, and funny of course, that they were so unabashed and cool about it.
God, I love my fans!
Butt-Plugger, I salute you. Hail to the plug…